Today’s Exercise: Bang Your Head Against the Walls
A normal day, one filled with much lethargy and ennui, dictates that I start browsing the internet again in hope to find something that will keep me preoccupied.
Rather than take the path much taken by most male reaching puberty (you all know what I mean), I decided to check my friendster inbox, my myspace inbox and my yahoo mail to reminisce the good e-mails/messages I’ve sent and received through the years…
…which is quite sad as to how there are so many badly-written "friend request" private messages that are very mind-boggling, in the way they present themselves and in the way they ask for invitation. 
Reading up those messages warrant a lot of head-bangs-against-the-walls, something I really don’t feel like doing.
But anyway, I’m kind of in the mood to post some of them as a way of dissing them, so here goes:
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subject: a
message: pa add naman pls..
shane_17@wasted.com
or
se7enteen@17.com
thnx..u
comment: wasted? wasted from thinking up of the right way to ask for invitation, of which you still lacked? What’s with the subject anyway? Too lazy to think up of something interesting? And thnx..u? What the hell is that?
ok. but this is still pretty cool as compared to the rest, which I’m going to present to you right now.
subject: pls add
message: ready4showdown@yahoo.com
comment: You chose the minimalist laconic route. Here’s my laconic reply: I don’t wanna. What’s with the e-mail anyway? Let me give you a suggestion: try giving that e-mail when you submit your resume and bring a stopwatch as well to time how fast it takes before the HR rolls his/her eyes. Ready for showdown? Yeah, baby! (spoken in a very perfunctory tone)
subject: hi
message: add me up pls
jennifer_villa07@yahoo.com
i’ll be glad f u do so……….
comment: Ok, that was pretty nice, except you sounded a little desperate when you said "I’ll be glad f u do so……… (I had a hard time myself trying to count how many period you had in that message) A desperate woman is a real no-no to me. My impressions of you just somehow worsened when I read your profile, especially in the "who you want to meet" section.
So, no thanks. And be sad.
By the way, you only need 3 periods, not 10…
subject: hi
message: good day!
pls. visit this site for a short presentation:
makeURL(”www.movie.ws/cathy0314/show”,”eHNsL21lc3NhZ2VzLnhzbA==”);www.movie.ws/cathy0314/show
for additional info.
makeURL(”www.movie.ws/cathy0314″,”eHNsL21lc3NhZ2VzLnhzbA==”);www.movie.ws/cathy0314
it might help you a lot.
God bless
Gilbert
comment: First of all, that was very thoughtful of you to give me links to movies considering that I only have a 56 K modem. And secondly, I hate your username (dreamboy). Lastly, I keep having a bad feeling that this is some sort of movie where some ghostly images suddenly pops out of my screen. (Which is why I still haven’t opened up that link) I’m keeping count of all my underwears in my closet and if you ever tried destroying any of them (not that it ever happened mind you), you’re gonna have to pay threefold.
You willing to do that? No? Then piss off!
subject: hi
message: wanna fuck?
comment: (disclaimer: I did not make that one up) Hello Gwen. Your picture, showing the bottom of your chin and the top of our chest (in a manner that your eyes are not showing) is quite tempting, to be honest. You probably are a real-life hottie or whatever.
However, I didn’t join friendster for profane activities. And to regurgitate your message back to you, who are now a suspended user of friendster, I don’t wanna f*** you. Now get outta my sight.
subject: hello mr.shun?!!!
message: m zham,and i wish to add you on my friendster!!!
but there seem to be a problem!!!
which is your e-mail add!!!
so if you wnt mind!!!
i will give you my add…
cavogz@yahoo.com
thanks and GODBLESS YUH!!!
comment: That was very nice of you. A much less fastidious friendster user might just add you. The only problem here is that I’m very fastidious. I don’t usually add friends whom I don’t know of, and if I do, it’s because that person aroused my interest (profile-wise, most of the time). Your profile, however, isn’t very interesting. I don’t feel obligated to add you.
But you tried. You really did try. The only beef I have is when you said GODBLESS YUH!!! I have no problem with the holier-than-thou greeting, but YUH? You might’ve as well said YA (to sound Texas) or YOU, which have just as much spelling as YUH, except it sounds 100 times more intelligent. What’s with all the exclamation points anyway? Are you a pep rally coach or something?
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Feh. Anyway, I’m going out now (I can’t stay home all day now, can I?). Please remember to send me those friend invites!
