Destination Unknown

Guess what day it is today? Why, it’s
Friday, of course. Do you still remember what I do during Fridays?

For those who have followed the
previous entries of the blog, I would like to say that the entry
about Starbucks created quite a buzz. In fact, that’s my entry with
the greatest amount of comments, both from people who actually posts
them, and from people who discuss with me privately.

So to everyone fitting that category, I
thank them. I thank them for taking the time to read my stuff. I
thank them for being honest with me. And because I value other
people’s opinion too, I’m now going to update that particular entry
with their observation, as well as a few new ones from myself. To
those who still haven’t read that entry, go there instead, as I will
merge my updates there. To those who have read that already, you can
just read the updates right here. Savvy?

Anyway, time to get the updates off the
chest. Let’s welcome the new casts of characters.

Note: I will put acknowledgments as to
who contributed to the idea.

Coffeetariats (thanks to Dan Dizon)
Coffeetariats are a collective group of people who probably don’t
work in a high-paying job. They probably work in call centers. Now
that’s fine. I have no problem with that. All of us needs money.

I wouldn’t immediately compare coffeetariats to the proletariats.
Karl Marx explicitly stated that proletariats are those among the
society who must sell their labor to survive. That probably applies
to coffeetariats as well.

But the difference is this: coffeetariats need to also spend 1/3 of
their daily wages on a cup of Starbucks coffee, which they probably
attend to daily, as though abiding to some sort of ritual. Gosh, of
course, how could I not notice?! It’s very important to already look
posh even before becoming a nouveau-riche!

Isn’t it fantastic how they spend lower on their lunch than on a cup
of coffee, or how they buy the prepaid card of the lowest
denominator, yet they nonchalantly spend hundreds on just a coffee?

Don Juan de Mocha
He is probably an FHM writer, but whatever the case may be, Don Juan
belongs to the FHM generation living by a principle consisting of fun
acronyms: FHM POV. Don Juan goes to Starbucks to find girls,
preferably those in dishabille. He is not interested in wits and
intellectual conversations, although he can try to pretend otherwise
by slinging some drivels with bend-over-backwards-ala-Matrix faculty
of reasoning. In reality he’s only interested in a girl’s breast size
and whether or not they would end up doing kinky stuff when the night
is no longer young. Then of course he’ll write about the encounter in
a “sex exploits” column.

Why Starbucks then, you say? Well, isn’t that kind of obvious-
Starbucks is the place to be seen! Sexy girls know that! Geez, shame
on you for asking!

Vasco de Gaga (thanks to Joy)
Vasco de Gaga is onward to an expedition. Actually, she is a student
who is a part time explorer. It is VERY important that she reaches
Starbucks on time, and whenever she can, because she needs to
encounter like-minded individuals as well! Heck, she probably
is more interested in colonizing Starbucks as opposed to colonizing
China.

So during a 1-hour lunch break, Vasco de Gaga has to dash out of St.
Paul all the way to Tomas Morato just to visit Starbucks! By riding
taxi of course! I mean if you want to go to a posh place don’t you
have to look the part as well? This is such as important matter to
her. It could mean the difference between success and failure. And
where did she get the money, you ask? Of course she always has a
reliable parent who gives her far too much allowance.

James Bean (thanks to Stephen Jou)
Great Scott, this is the man wearing what’s tagged as “Jacket
without a cause”!

This is James Bean’s instincts of what constitutes a “cool”:
jacket + sunglasses + bonnet + hiphop DJ hand gestures. Viola! Cool!
Oh my, DJ hand gestures are a must! It’s the way to establish the
“street cred”, ‘yo! Like, only a half of earth’s population are
DJ’s!

He would say “Dude, look at my jacket! And my OAKLEY! And my
accent! Ain’t I cool, y’all?”

First of all, “dude” is so Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-ish.
Second, so what if you have OAKLEY? But fine, at least I’ll
compliment your getup. Your jacket is definitely flashy. Now if only
you’d use it to actually protect your skin from raindrops, or use it
to actually keep you warm from a cold weather.

But James, you’re so not cool, because:
- You keep insisting that you’re cool
- Anyone who has to resort to wearing jackets in a tropical country,
especially during hot days, seriously misses the point.
- You’re not cool because someone can write about how you’re not
cool.
- Have you ever heard of Stan Getz? That’s what cool is all about.

Douchebag!

Lattetia
Casta (thanks to Dan Dizon)
It is said that Lattetia wears the poshest of her posh gown, while
accompanied by her fiance who, incidentally, is wearing the poshest
of his posh tux. They came from a prom, but that to them was such an
ennui. So to make their night alive and complete, they chose not to
make love; instead, they went to Starbucks after which sex is
probably negotiable.

Really, what an opportunity to waste! They’re all dressed up like
this, so a session of STARBUCKS definitely MUST follow suit – pun
intended. And what better ways to end a spectacular night than to
take pictures of the couple sipping fraps amidst all the envious
Starbucks patrons! These couple will stick around like flies
to a flypaper, since Starbucks is the be-seen place of the century!

Meanwhile I hope they don’t notice that a lot of people want nothing
more than to drop a stain to their suits. It seems they’re oblivious
to the world around them, clinging to the crotchet that coffee tastes
significantly better when you drink it while being all dressed up.

And once again, Starbucks amaze me with its multi-functionality! It
seems to cover people of different walks of life! Where else can you
find a place that’s an outlet for all of these: writers,
businesswomen, technology gurus, DJ’s, playboys, explorer, antique
collectors and fashionistas?

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 6th, 2006 at 10:39 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.